Funny Man
by Screaming Faeries
Summary: Muggle!AU. James has been gloomy and depressed ever since Lily left him many years ago, but he does have one thing to look forward to. QLFC Round 12


**Written For:**

\- QLFC / Round 12: Captain - Pair Them Up: You'll be writing about two characters in a romantic relationship — Hermione/James. This is more of two characters getting into a budding relationship rather than one already established.

 **Word Count:** 1,406

* * *

oOo

The sound of the letterbox rattling startled James from his slumber, and he slowly cracked open his sleep-crusted eyes. He dragged himself into a sitting position, grinding the heels of his palms into his tired eyes. The blankets pooled around him as he sat up. He had been cocooned up in the covers; a reminder that he no longer had someone sharing his bed and fighting for possession of the blankets.

Before he could allow himself to remember what that was like, he climbed out of bed and staggered to the bathroom. After visiting the toilet to relieve himself, he washed his hands in the sink and caught sight of his reflection in the mirror.

Stubble was casting a dirty shadow around his chin and neck; he had purple bags under his eyes and his hair was growing out and sticking up at the back worse than ever. His razor winked at him from the sink, but James didn't have the time or energy to tidy up his face. He had woken up late yet again, and he tended to wait until his beard was really out of control before shaving it. He still had a few days before that happened.

After brushing his teeth quickly to rid the grimy taste from his mouth, James rushed downstairs. He had to be quick—it was Thursday, the only day of the week that his son, Harry, came to visit him.

As he reached the bottom of the stairs, he glanced up at the old, gilt-framed picture on the wall. A much younger version of himself was standing by his red-haired bride, planting a chaste kiss on her cheek. When Lily had divorced James years ago, Harry had gone to live with his mother. He still saw James regularly, at first. As James plunged further into post-divorce depression, Harry started to visit less and less.

But that was when Harry was in his teens. He was nearly twenty now, a grown man, and James had become considerably less gloomy—at least, he'd gotten better at pretending he wasn't. He was determined to make more of an effort, having lost so many years of Harry's life while he was clouded by depression.

James was embarrassed to admit it, but he wasn't just making the effort for Harry anymore.

After forcing a comb through his bedraggled hair and pulling on a clean t-shirt and semi-clean jeans, he kicked the pile of untouched letters from the threshold and opened the front door, so he could wait for his son's arrival.

A car pulled up within minutes, and Harry climbed out of the passenger seat and started up the front path, grinning. He greeted his father with a hug. "Bloody hell, Dad, when was the last time you had a shower?" he pulled back, wrinkling his nose, but he was still grinning good-naturedly. James swiped at Harry to ruffle his hair, but Harry ducked and dodged past him, into the house.

Still standing at the doorway, James spotted the other reason he looked forward to Thursdays so much. Harry's friend Hermione was standing by her car, smiling at James as she tucked a tuft of her bushy hair behind her ear. Her face was glowing from the sudden cold outside of the car, and James's stomach fluttered.

As always on a Thursday, the darkness and gloom over James's life was lifted by these two bright sparks of life. He didn't even know why Hermione continued to come with Harry on his visits—but he didn't really care.

oOo

After James had made a cup of tea and they'd all sipped it in silence, Harry jumped up from his seat. "I'm not going to stay, I've got a job interview in half an hour."

"Oh—" James blinked at his son, disappointment flooding his stomach. "That's okay. I suppose I'll see the both of you next week?"

Harry grinned. "I'm going alone. Hermione's going to stay here until I get back, then we're going to dinner with Ginny and Ron."

Hermione's cheeks tinged pink. "I hope that's okay?"

"O-of course," James replied hastily, and a little too enthusiastically. Harry gave his dad one more hug, before spreading his fingers in a goodbye at Hermione and heading out of the door. "So," continued James, "do you want another cup of tea?"

Hermione stood up and took James's cup out of his hand. "Sure. I'll make it. There's something I want to talk to you about."

James followed her into the kitchen and stared at the back of her head as she starting brewing the tea. "Is it about Harry? Is everything alright?" A thousand scenarios ran through his head, the reigning being that she and Harry had started dating. Although James would be determined to be happy for his son, he wasn't sure if he could bear to watch them become a couple.

"No, but I spoke to Harry about it already. That's kind of why he's bailed on the visit today. He doesn't actually have a job interview." Hermione turned around and passed one of the mugs to James. "I was wondering…" her cheeks started to glow again. "What you thought about seeing me more often?"

James blinked again. "With Harry? I'd love for you both to come along more often. It's a shame I only get to see him once a week—"

"No, not with Harry," interrupted Hermione, taking a swig of her tea. "Just...just me."

"I don't...you mean like…"

Hermione's face was crimson now. "You don't mean to say you didn't _notice?_ Why do you think I've been coming here with Harry every week?"

James shrugged. "I'm flattered, but...aren't I old enough to be your dad?"

Hermione moved closer to him, holding her cup to her lips. "Let's just go on a couple of dates. See where it takes us."

James took a drink from his own mug, feeling his face burn. It had been so long since he had been in a relationship or even casually dated a girl, and he wasn't sure how to react. He was extremely attracted to Hermione—she was part of the reason he tried so hard to perk himself up nowadays. But why would she want to date _him?_

oOo

A week later, James was sitting opposite Hermione in a sickeningly girlish tearoom, with his hands cupped around a steaming cup of hot chocolate. This was their first official date, and also the first time in a while that James had been out of the house.

"Harry said you used to be different," Hermione said, stirring her own cream-topped cocoa with a spoon. "That you were joking all the time, and funny."

James smiled nostalgically. "I had a lot to joke about back then."

"When you were with Lily?" James looked down into his cocoa, and Hermione reached out and put her hand on his arm. "Do you miss her?"

"I miss the _idea_ of her," James sighed. "I fell out of love with Lily. We married when we were too young to understand what we really felt for each other, and had a baby so young too. But I miss having someone, you know? I miss waking up with another person beside me, and having someone to talk to on an evening. I miss there being someone laughing at my jokes."

Hermione smiled. "Tell me a joke?"

A grin cracked across James's face. "Are you sure? I'm out of practice."

"I'd love to hear one."

"You asked for it." James leaned back in his chair. "What's brown and sticky?"

Hermione shrugged.

"A stick!"

Hermione was silent for a few moments, before eventually sniggering. "You're right. That was really terrible."

"I did warn you." James smiled sheepishly, and looked down at the table. Hermione's hand was still on his arm. "I hope you don't think I'm being too forward, but I'd really like to see more of you."

"You mean, more than just on a Thursday?" said Hermione with a smirk. James flicked her hand playfully, and she kicked him under the table. "I'd like to see more of you, too."

James held up his cup of cocoa towards her. "Here's to seeing more of each other in the future."

Hermione pushed his cup back down to the table. "How about you just give me a kiss instead?" she replied, her face glowing.

James smiled, and leaned across the table towards her. Things were looking up.


End file.
